Sunday 5 September 2010

1 Billion Friends

In the age where the social networking site is the height of conversation, is it actually causing us to loose sight of the importance of physical interaction? More than that, is it possible to be connected with dozens of other people through them and still be alone?

Ok cards on the table, I am not a naturally confident guy, I am the sort of guy who won't say boo to a goose for fear the goose will kill me and eat my family. That said the idea of talking to people through online mediums has helped me to be a lot more comfortable talking in real life. 

My love affair with social networking began at the tender age of 18, with the infamous Gaydar, a "dating" site which offered the promise of meeting more gay guys, since at that tender age I didn't know any. From there it grew into MSN where I made a new place for myself to talk to these people I was chatting too on Gaydar, and started the slow process of building up relationships with a lot of different people. 

OK I can hear the comments already, that Gaydar and MSN are not inherently social networks. However, it's how the story starts with a lot of people, and it grew further into other areas. 

I moved on to Myspace, since it offered the chance to do some early blogging, I also took the advice of a dude from Gaydar and got myself installed on Faceparty too. By this point it was only a year later and I had my fingers in a lot of different pies. Not even a year after that I found myself on Facebook, the granddaddy of them all, and started to measure my self worth by the number of friends I had. I had also moved on to the unusually named LadsLads where I had given up completely on the "dating" sites and realised that sometimes all you need is straight up athletic and intense sex. I even publicly reported my own entry into the ranks of the Twiterrati just a few months ago with yet another online profile.

Now before anyone gets the wrong impression of me, I actually do have a life. I have a job and friends, and hobbies, and people who care about me. I love the idea that these sites can introduce you to new people and friends, and sometimes even boyfriends for the single gay man on the go. But when we get down to it, are our facebook friends really our friends, or are the followers in Twitter ever really listening? Is the dude on Gaydar going to remember you for you, or for the naughty picture that you posted? When you realise your latest status update is as dull as ditch water, is that when you realise, that probably no one cares? 

My real question is, is it possible that the idea of being so deeply connected with all these strangers, can social networking ever take the place of something real?

In my opinion it can't, it never could. So why don't we all try something a little different? Find a facebook friend or a Twitter follower that you don't know all that well, chat to them, get to know them, maybe even meet IRL for lunch someday. Talk about the things that really do matter to you, I promise no character limits, and no seedy pics needed first.

Believe it or not I still like my love affair with social networking, but I just know there is more to life than chat windows and what Stephen Fry is doing this week.  

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