Compared to most people, I like to think I am a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to romance. Even if I am not so traditional when it comes to my sexuality.
It's the whole Disney Fairytale thing that I was raised with. That cosmic idea at there is one person in all the world that you are destined for..... usually with a lot of talking animal friends which you would only see in real life with the assistance of very powerful narcotics. Either way you went through life knowing the difference, your friends were your friends, and your lovers were usually princes with lots of money and a palace in the nice part of town.
Now as I have gotten older I have accepted that sometimes the lines get blurred.... usually beyond recognition. This has happened to me before too and even though most times it has been good, other times it has left me wanting something I know I shouldn't. At the end of the day I'm wondering if it's really healthy.
The reason I wonder this is because of one guy, as usual he will have an alias, and this time it's Fitty. Obvious reason for this, he is hot as hades in summer, plus for a private and slightly twisted secret in joke.
Anyway Fitty and I go back, in fact we were together for a very long time in my early 20's and we fell fast and hard. Now obviously it didn't work out, it was too perfect, and we ended up just being friends. Which later became friends with benefits....
I won't lie, the sex is unbelievable. The talking is still as deep and meaningful as it ever was too. Really he is like a secret boyfriend who only comes out when we are both single and in that kind of mood. But the reason I worry is that I am not sure what I prefer in this awkward set up, the friend who I have sex with, or the lover who is my friend.
The other day he started off my saying how I was a brilliant lay, and a great person. Which is all true..... but it sounds a little bit like the line is blurring with him as well. Back when we first split up, this would of been great. Now though..... it's not.
Maybe I'm going against my Disney upbringing, but I don't want to settle anymore, I want to be free and to enjoy my life instead of tying myself down to someone who has already broken my heart once. Maybe some lines once blurred can never go back to the way they were. Or maybe in should just shut the fuck up and enjoy the great sex........
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Waiting for "the one" can be quite a lengthy business... I say, what's wrong with having a bit of fun in the meantime?? :-D
ReplyDeleteLove Blaine xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"you would only see in real life with the assistance of very powerful narcotics"
ReplyDeleteLMAO!
I say just enjoy the great sex. When they start to blur is when you should stop trying to color inside the lines.