Identity Theft: The Tragedy of a Relationship

Do relationships mean the end of your own personal identity? As a single man coming out of a long term relationship I am beginning to think so.

In my experiences relationships come in one of 2 categories. Some are like Fireworks, the are exciting, they explode in a fiery collection of vibrant colours, but when they are over it's like they never existed. But then you have some relationships that are like houses, there's a lot of lead up, a lot of planning, it's slow to build up, but you can build a whole life around it.

The problem with the latter type is that when you get too far in then suddenly you start to loose yourself to them. The 'I' becomes the royal 'we'. I have done this myself, I would talk about a movie and say "we loved that film" or "we thought that cinema was a dive". Doesn't sound awful does it, but it's usually only the start.

Don't get me wrong it isn't a bad thing to do things together. Hell, one of the fun parts of dating is doing lots of stuff together. The problem only really comes in when you start to itch for your own space again, and your own opinion. I have seen this happen to friends, and it's sad. I went to one recently snatched up mate and asked him about his plans for new years. He said he would check with his boyfriend, or to use his actual words "I make sure it is OK with him"...... I am sorry but what the FUCK is with that?!? If you want to do it, do it, if you don't, then don't. bring the boyfriend or don't, and so what if you fly solo? You don't need to be attached at the hip, and if

But then sometimes they are and that's even more disturbing.

You ever see a long term couple in a club? I saw one recently and they were wearing matching colour coordinated outfits *gag*, stayed to the side of the dance floor all night, and stared at all the singles as if they were superior? Normally it doesn't bug me, I have been in a relationship before and probably committed the same cardinal sins. But this time all it does is make me think how pathetic the "modern" couple has become.

Maybe this is only me but a real relationship is not about two people trying to become a single person. I think it's about two different people coming together and staying together, celebrating the things that make them unique. The second you see yourself as a couple, and not a person in a couple, I think it's time to be worried.

Maybe I'm wrong what do you think? Does the royal "we" take precedence to the common "I" or should there be a peoples revolution to give people back their Independence, and their right to their own lives?