My Gay Adventure

OK if you have been an avid reader you will remember that my ex and I were due to go on holiday together as a couples retreat. We booked it all up back when things were all new and still exciting, and I didnt go after we decided to call it quits a few months ago. He went with his lesbian mate Kylie, and I stayed at home with mother..... drinking.... sad isnt it. Well to be honest it was nice to have time to myself, and time to focus on my house which has almost taken shape in the last few weeks. Also got my money back from the ex..... or i will do after some mild torture.... Bring me my Whip!!!

Now I am not what you would call a natural adventurer, in fact if I was in an action movie I woule be the poor bespectacled librarian type who dies first.But I missed the idea of having a bit of a mini-adventure... I always wanted to have one, just never found the time and the money for it.

Then something extraordinary happened.

One of my best mates called me up and said he was going on holiday, off to Gran Canaria, the gay capital of the world.... after San Francisco, but before Brighton. Now normally in such situations I say I will think about it and will subconciously hope the invite goes away since I never get the chance to do it. But..... this time I decided I need a change, so instead of shaking my head and saying no, I emphatically nodded and said a slightly scared and excited YES!!!! So before I had a chance to take a breath I was booked into a private bungalow in a gay resort.

Now right after this happened my brain started to go into overdrive. I realised all too quickly that I needed to loose 10,000 pounds, get a six pack, and possibly highlights if I was going to fit in on my first holiday in 5 years. I also realised I would need swimwear, new underwear, cologne and a secret stash of condoms..... well you never know ':-/ .

Truth is I am not really as neurotic as my lat paragraph would have you believe. I really am excited and cant wait to go. But I look at the pictures of the resort, and all I see are hot gym fit bodies and perfect hair and teeth. I'm not perfect, I'm not even close, but I want to look my best for my one week in paradise.

So here is the deal. I have 1 month untill I fly out, i have started eating healthier, and I am doing special ab tightening yoga (which is painful and looks embarrasing, but has resultS), and I am off out shopping in soho for some sex on a stick underwear that will hopefully make me *sizzle* in the hot climate.

Tell me the truth, is it wrong to be this excited over one week in January? Or will this be the adventure that movies and trashy airport novels are made of. I can promise you I will be emphatically blogging throughout my adventure, but bear with me in the lead up, I might be unbearable. ;)