I don't know how the subject came up, but I was with a couple of work mates the other day and they ended up talking about all the slightly dodgy things they used to get up to at school and uni. You know the sort of thing that usually happens as a result of alcohol, hormones and sometimes just bloody audacity. Anyway one of the girls looks at me and she says she cant imagine me doing anything wrong, and that I seemed too "good". I know what she really meant was boring.
The truth is though that I tended to be just as bad as everyone else, but I was very good about keeping quiet about it. However in the spirit of confession here is a very short list of some of the more questionable things I did, and not that long ago, so I should know better.
1) Bunking off School
OK not a massive amount of naughtiness here, but then I was a little bit crafty. I used to tell my mother that I was going to be staying after school to study at the after hours programme the school was running, and I used to sign out of school citing a dentist appointment. Poor school never realised I had a dentists appointment on a weekly basis. Either that or they think I really neede a lot of work done.
2) Stole money from my Dad
Bit more vicious now. Me and my dad have a difficult relationship, but it was at it's worse when I was 16. I think he was beginning to see I was different, and I was beginning to see how much he hated the idea. My acts of rebellion were petty and they usually involved stealing from his wallet. In my defence he never noticed when I once nicked £80 out of there, which goes to show how much he had in there.
3) Never reporting an assault.
It happens when you are young and your gaydar is a little bit off, I was drunk and hit on a drunk straight boy. Drunk straight boy then broke a bottle and went for me :S. I wasn't hurt too badly, a couple of scratches mainly and the bouncers were on him like shit on Velcro in seconds. One very big and menacing looking Doorman said he had called the police and told me to just wait in the office bit. I didn't, I snuck out and went home. I did it because there was a small part of me that thought I deserved it. OK maybe not wrong in the traditional sense, but not right either.
4) Loosing my virginity on a one-night stand
That old chestnut sex. I was dating someone in uni and I psyched myself up a bit, knowing that any day now I would have sex for the first time. Problem is as it later turned out, he wasn't ready to be a "first time". So I did the typical, I drowned my sorrows in vodka and went home with the first man who showed interest. Turned out he was an insurance underwriter, and I left my watch there. It was stupid, and careless mostly because it ruined my relationship, and for a long time had me labled as "easy". It was also wrong because of just how pathetic I was, making sex so important in the first place. It still is now.....
5) Getting a former mates boyfriend into bed
Kind of self explanatory. I don't have the luxury of saying I was drunk this time. I knew what I was doing I did it anyway. Do I regret my decision, hell yes, would I do it again, hell no. Sometimes jut because you can have something, doesn't mean you should go out and take it, doesn't prove you are better, only shows you are a bigger jerk. I got a black eye for that and a serious dressing down, I think I deserved worse.
This is by no means all the stuff I could confess, I'm pretty sure that's only a fraction. But then I always get up every day and put on one sock at a time, I always try and do better next time, and never stopped trying to be as good a person as I could be. I don't always succeed, but that won't ever stop me trying.
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