New Day New Laptop

Unfortunately it is a solemn day as the good old laptop has gone off to that big LAN party in the sky. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. So I had it's hard drive ripped out and stuck in a box. Anyone makes a joke about wicked queens and I will not be amused. Anyway I wasn't kidding I had a massive media collection on my hard drive so I took it in to a repair shop to convert it into an external hard drive for me.

Once I knew that my information was safe I was much happier and I was able to have more fun browising for a new laptop. I move on quickly..... It didn't tale take long to find my new toy, it's so glossy and pretty, and for about the same price of my old one it can do so much more. I even paid extra so that it would arrive before 11.

It's a nice new toy and loaded up with all the new features from Windows 7, all a little gimmicky but then I am well and truly gimmicked and proud lol.

Anyway must dash, hope everyone had a good weekend shall be able to post more often now, see you all soon.

One HELL of a weekend!

OK I have been out of sight and out of mind now for a while and its all been down to some fucking technical issues. SO in light of that gonna try and tell my unusual story as briefly as possible.

First of, Volcanic Ash....... did you see any cos i sure as hell fucking DID NOT!!!!! However, due to aforementioned ash my weekend with the bf was all over the place. Originally it was going to be a nice relaxed weekend in, however my lovable man thing was house sitting for a family who had gone away for a holiday. You made the connection yet? So because of the invisible ash we were stuck over at this house looking after their dog.

First things first, I did not really mind, it shook things up ever so slightly. Unfortunately the dog had a bit of a vendetta against me, There was no wireless so I had no extra ways to amuse myself, and finally my gorgeous man had a sore mood the whole time. Any of these on their own would of made me a bit on edge, however it was made even stranger on the last day of the house sitting job.

Now Lee had to go to work, and since it was my week off we decided that I could stay alone in the house and keep an eye on the dog that morning. Now because Lee let him out before he left he said that he shouldnt need to go again untill much later..... in theory.

Of course I hopped out of bed to pop to the bathroom, and next thing I see when I get back is a very distinctive stain in the bed sheets. Lo and Behold ! The dog had peed right where my head would of been.... i tried not to take that too personally.

I mean What the HELL, why is it that the one time it is down to me to do something that crap like this happens.

Anyway I felt naturally guilty, and i did not want to land myself or Lee in trouble so I threw the sheets into the washing machine, and got so stressed I decided to mop the floor to relieve my guilt. Lee got in from work and he just laughed at my aggro..... is it bad that i wanted to throttle him?

Anywho once the dust settled Lee went to have a nap since he had been up so early, and I decided to entertain myself by opening up my laptop and organising my stuff so I can back it all up. Then I realised that something was wrong, and no power was going into the machine. F U C K.

So not even one day into my week off and everything is slowly falling apart. :(.

Retail Therapy

OK had a bit of a shopping trip during my lunch break, went off with one of my good friends Jay to trawl round the high street and see if there is anything that is worth getting. We even got to take a side trip to Starbucks to help round off the fastest lunch hour possible, which would be great if I was much of a coffee drinker.

It was nice though to have a bit of a bitchy hour and relax with a friend. I love my bf but a nice bit of girly boys time was what I needed, especially when all I want to do is talk to someone who isnt a family member or the bf or a work friend. It would of been even better if we had of bought anything, but he was short on cash and I am a fussy shopper, and almost never get anything without needing a while to think about it first. Problem is that a shopping trip without a bag full of crap at the end, is like sex without a climax, all the fun of a nice lead up but doesnt quite reach that final peak.

Maybe they shouldnt call it Retail Therapy, its a Retail Orgasm. OOOOOH Debenhams, MMMMMM River Island, Oh baby yessss Topman....... and Finally AIEEEEEEEEE H & M. OK that may just be going a little too far.

I shouldnt really be buying loads of new clothes anyway, I still need to sort my wardrobe out and get rid of my old clothes but James and me have said we will pop over and do some heavy duty shopping one day next week when I am on holiday, and if need be i shall enlist him to help me be brutal if need be.

Interesting side note is we ran into one of my old ex's in one of the shops. Oddly enough it turned out to be one of his ex's too. I hate it when that happens, you never know what to say, so i just turned around and said "small pecker" and winked. He politely nodded and we went back to the racks lol.

Step 1 complete, one minor hiccup

Ok as part of my resolution to sort my life out I decided to start small. I though about all the crap I have lying around and what will the the easiest to part with. Finally I looked at my shelf and it came to me, my videos. I have not watched a video cassette in years and the only VCR left in the house is downstairs. So it seemed like a reasonable 1st reasonable thing to get rid of.

I boxed it all up an I go the normal amount of nostalgia. Videos which I had watched so many times they were grainy and faded now. Lokkjg back on it I am amazed I put up with the bad quality, but that being said it was the 90s and I did not know any better lol. Thing was it did make me wonder abou about just doing away with them all. It seemed like such a waste. So I passed them to dad so he could record them on some blank DVDs so at least we still have them in some form.

Naturally I thouht I was being quite thoughtful and responsible. Unfortunately I think I really should of checked all of those videos more before I handed them over. Unfortunately a porn movie slipped through the cracks :s. It was lucky it was a pretty tame one or inwould of been in a bit worse schtook than o was in already. Good grief l you need to do to panic the straights is threaten them with porn.

Ah well step 2 is tomorrow, the wardrobe and my clothes. This naturally means that I am going out at lunch with a friend to do some clothes shopping :).

Weekend at last, but where has it gone ????

I have so badly needed this weekend it is seriously unreal. Problem is it is back to work tomorrow and I have ha a hard time trying to figure out exactly what I have been doing.

Firstly I went the other halfs house, as is the norm with me. It was nice to see him and he had good news for me, he has been promoted which means he might actually have some decent hours now. I can't say I will miss him having to get up at 4 some mornings, and I think he would love not being tired all the time. I also met his aunt Sue for the first time, a lovely woman who makes me laugh. Still by 8 it was time for bed as Lee was to be up at 4 and so needed to go to sleep. He told me to stay up and fiddle on the computer because he felt guilty if I had to go to bed early just because of him. Of course 10 mins later he asked me to come to bed cos he missed me, awh. And since his brother was away we actually got treated to the double bed which was lovely cos Lee only has a single.

He got up at stupid o clock the next day, and I was faced with a geeky dilema. Do I go and renew my subscription to WoW. I know will the depths of my geekyness know no bounds :s. I actually put the question to facebook "to WoW or not to WoW", and the responce was an overwhelming YES. Ah well if I get addicted I just blame my friends.

Lee crawled in about noon and he went to bed to nap, so I just played WoW and watched tv waiting on him. We have been together 5 months but instill feel weird when I am alone with his family, they are all great to me but I still feel nervous. Maybe I still feel a bit like a guest, even though he says I am family.

Finally around 4 Lee rejoined the land of the piving and we went to see his aunt, we were going to have a party with the Wii. I made myself look like a complete fool om Just Dance tryin to do MC Hammer :s, still Lee had to do a Kylie dance with his brother so I can't complain lol.

As there is with this sort of event there was a tantrum or two, mostly resolving around misplaced nunchucks for the wii remotes but other than that it was a blast. Of course the night had to end and we went back to Lees for some sleep.

We came home to a Shower Rota, since the next day we all needed to shower and get ready for lunch as we were going out. And since there were 6 of us we all needed to be up and out. I was a little mortified because it meant Lee needed to be up early on his day off, but I knew it would solve some tantrums later :).

The highlight was that night with Lee, we just go to be cuddly and chatty about just us. Which is quite rare since we never really get any alone time at the moment. It was lovely to enjoy such sweet, long and deep kisses, of course I found ithard to stop there, but I knew I had too since we needed to be up early again. Either way it is still my idea of heaven, me and my bf, cramped together in a single bed, nothing between us, just holding each other. I know Lee reckons I'm a bit of a soppy bastard too.

OK, time to be responsible

Now that the drama of my new boyfriend and my family breaking bread together has finally passed I realise that the energy I have been putting into worrying about it has finally started to seep back into me. So I am finding that I have a larger capacity to do more things that I must admit I have seriously put of doing.

I am not sure what put me in the mood to start overhauling my life. Maybe the fact that spring is in the air, and for once the rain has stopped? Either way my I am feeling a sudden urge to dust to cobwebs from my brain and try to live a little better. If you are a loyal reader you will remember that I said in a previous post that I was going to organise my life. This is not quite the same thing, one is thinking about it, this is actually doing it..... a strange and scary concept.

Thanks to my mental organisation I have finally put together a shortlist of all the things that really do need attention.

1) Computer - I am afraid I am one of those people who has a cluttered computer. I have just been living with it for a bit too long and even the other half is beginning to notice it could do with a tidy :S. So I will be going through and getting rid of all the crap i dont need, and backing up all the stuff i do, including my massive media and film collection.

2) Wardrobe - OK, lets face it some things just are not coming back into style :(. I have more clothes than I can fit in my wardrobe and the wood is beginning to groan in protest, so I need to put aside my in built homosexual desire to hoard the clothes and put them in a bin liner, or failing that charity. Or if I'm feeling really mean give the bin-liners as clothes to charity....... I'm in a weird mood tonight.

3) Friends - You are probably thinking why would I feel the need to organise my friends..... but the truth is I do. Since I have been happily enraptured by the lovely bf, I have been neglecting some of my friends to the point of nastiness. So I seriously need to organise some fun times and dinners in the next few months to get me back in peoples good books. Likewise my bf really needs to be introduced or they will start to think I'm making him up :S.

4) Money - Before you ask, NO, this is not a list in order of importance, otherwise my priorities would be well and truly FUCKED. Anyway my finances are stable, but that's about it. Its time to speculate, so I can accumulate some of that precious green so I can fund myself a little better.

There is probably a lot more to sort out, but that is the list for now, may not seem much to you, but to me the little stuff is always the easiest to start with. Once I am done with these I am sure there will be something else to keep my attentions consumed.

Afterglow :D

You know sometimes the best sex of your life is categorized by the feeling of utter contentment you feel straight after. That moment after you reach climax you feel your whole self melt together, your legs buckle, and feel the kind of peace that seems confined to religious experiences, or Lady GaGa's latest music video.

Thats they way I have felt all day today, not because of any recent rumpy pumpy (which is a shame) but simply because I was able to get through yesterday.

I have been so stressed out for the last few weeks that I am wondering how I have been able to function. I am also wondering how I was able to get through that initial meeting without breaking down from the incredible strain. But now that its over and the approval marks have been dished out I feel like the weight of the world has come off my shoulders, for now at least.

My mother, though not exactly singing his praises, was more than a little relieved that Lee had a good time, with my sister occasionaly grumbling about the fact that he was a vegitarian (her being a carnivore she objected on a personal levels..... weirdo). I was so happy that I did something unusual. I actually got all giddy and happy when Lee sent me a text, which is the sort of behaviour which tends to fade out round the month mark.

The timing fit in well as today it turned out to be our 5 month anniversary, something I only realised last night. Its unusual, sometimes i feel like i have known him for years, and others I feel like I have known him all of 5 minutes.

Anyway readers the big ugly evil thing on the horizon has faded away, which means I can now turn my attention to other things, starting with the week of holiday I have coming up, downside being that I have to wait two weeks till then :S.

I feel like im still glowing even 24 hours later, and every time I look at the silly pics of my man on my computer I smile all the more. When the fuck did I turn all lovey dovey........ LOL!!

Anyway I sign off knowing I should really get some sleep, work tomorrow.... ugh. Night All.

Wow, I am shocked

If you are a loyal reader then many of you will know that today was the day when my boyfriend finally got to meet my whole family. A prospect that made me very nervous. Please understand I love my boyfriend a lot and I always wanted him to meet the family, which I think of him as part of, I just always worried that if he saw how insane my family were then I might loose him. The truth of the matter is that a part of me wanted to keep him safe and happy, and I worried about it mainly because I have been so happy the last five months, I didn't want to spoil it.

As it happened, he was a hit.

We started the day slowly, we did not have to be at my parents till three, so we stayed in bed having some cuddles and eventually watched a film. ( Watchmen in case you were wondering ). But then we both got showered and dressed, and left to go. To say I had butterflies would be an understatement, I felt like I had Mothra and his whole dysfunctional family going at it in my guts. I am ashamed to admit it but a tiny part of me even wanted to ask him to pull over for a few minutes. Still I persevered, though I did ask him if he was still happy with me and our relationship, my little pet worry being that if he was even a little bit uncertain then this might push him over the edge. He told me, that he was happy. So I felt much better.

We got to the house where my large Alaskan Malamute dog Toby, decided he loved lee so much he was going to pick him up and try and bury him. Well it was one hell of an icebreaker. He then proceeded to meet my mother and grandmother, I still chaffed at them referring to him as my "friend" but I supposed they needed to come to terms wih it too. In no time at all we were surrounded by my neice and nephew as well as my brother and his soon to be wife. I could tell he was nervous, so we just stayed quiet and let everyone talk around us.

All at once he seemed more at ease, especially after he started to win people over one at a time, and as he managed it I felt the tense muscles in my shoulder blades slowly unravel and I felt lighter than air. Of course then we got to the Easter meal and all of a sudden I just felt bloated. I have to give my mother much respect for pulling together an extra vegitarian meal for Lee, which he loved. I think he loved the desert too which was a rich chocolate sponge covered in chocolate sauce. I couldn't finish it, but Lee took it in stride and impressed my indomitable mother.

We quietly retired for some tea and coffee, and even had some play time with the children, he wowed my nephew by making a perfect play-doh snail. So great was our success, we retired to my room for a few minutes, I just needed a hug and I wanted to find the words to tell him how happy I was. He didn't think he did much, only that he tried his best. But in my heart, I felt something like pride swell me up, I almost didn't want him to leave. But I knew he had to, my mother has made a lot of progress but not that much, not yet.

He left with one last good night kiss, and I felt light again, though more dreamy, like my insides were mad of clouds and air. I came straight up to bed and decided to post this, before my memory started to dim. I may read this tomorrow and be embarrassed at how gushy i sound. But right now, I can think of only one time I was happier, and that was he night Lee said he loved me for the very first time.

I love you too Lee, sweet dreams.

What to write........

Ugh this is is a new situation, I am blog blocked. Normally I have tonnes of stuff to think about, but really for once I am feeling non-plussed. It's not as if I have not been doing anything, or that I have nothing to think about. I am still pretty petrified by the idea of tomorrow and my lover man meeting my family.

I look at some of the blogs on here and I wonder how some of these really great writers fin the inspiration to write as often as they do. I am amazed if I am honest, and some how by comparrison the mental meanderings of my demented coconut seem to pale in comparison.

Well there is news at least, mixed in with my fears over tomorrow there have been some positive steps in getting my house. The old building which was on my plot has finally been torn down. I did not expect it to feel this sudden, I must admit I never really thought it would happen. But now that I look at the two piles of debris, it suddenly feels more real than it had been. It suddenly makes me feel woefully unprepared as I still have so much to do. My Dad keeps tellin me to not worry and hat things wi happen in their own time. But as usual I can't help it, and I find myself working through eBay looking for spoons and dining chairs.

So my post has not got much direction today, I suppose it must be the fear. But I can promise plenty to write about after tomorrow.

Till then au revoir my readers, ( being optimistic lol ) x

OK now I'm SCARED !!!!!!

The joy of a holiday on Friday. There is nothing like that nice extra hour or so of sleep that make me look foreward to Easter. Of course I took advantage, stayed in my PJs all morning and sat in front of my True Blood reruns. Q guilty pleasure I assure you ;).

Of course we still have a house full of family but as we have all been fucking each other off, the grand majority have left me be on my own huzzah. But I know they will all be back on Sunday, hence the reason for my anxiety. Lee will be meeting them all and I am unashamedly beginning to feel the nerves. I am trying to be as optimistic as I can, but I sti worry, my family can be very wicked when they choose to be.

If this was The Bodyguard I would be standing ready to take a bullett if necessary, but here there are no weapons to stand in front of, and there is no protection from the things that people say. I love him so much, I just want everything to go well for his sake. I guess that's the problem with having such a passive aggressive family, it makes it hard to hold on to the people that you want to keep close. I'm afraid that if it all goes sour then I will loose him, he might just decide I'm not worth the aggro.

He has told me so many times I am worth it, but I still can't keep the fear in check. I have not done this before, can you tell ?

I think it's taking it's toll on me, makes me come across and extra clingy which I seriously do not want, and my mans patience might be getting strained. He doesn't show it but then it makes me feel self concious.

Seriously how do people do this, take the plunge and introduce people to their parents. I already feel like a nervous wreck.