It does not take much to make me thoughtful, and takes only slightly more than that to make me worry. My friend Kev often says I think a little too much. But I never really spent much time thinking about the finality of life. But yesterday as I was tucking in to lunch at my office canteen, I realised I at the not so tender age of 22, I could very well be a quarter of the way through my life.
The thought made me shiver slightly, I don't usually think about death, or getting older, anymore than I think about spring becoming summer, it's just always been something that happens in the background. But in that moment of clarity, with a fork halfway to my mouth, I saw the next 22 years stretching out ahead of me like my life flashing before my eyes. I must say it looked rather boring, and my work seemed to feature prominently in it all.
Without realising it I had become a career focused kind of dude. And possibly neglecting all the fun that I could be having, and really should be having. I think my life is out of balance, and I need to start enjoying myself a little mrs, especially with my boyfriend, who is probably sick of me acting like a stress head all the time.
I woke ip this morning and did my hair in a different way(not much but it's a start), tried smiling more too, and trying to think of all the things I want to do. I have some holiday comin up too so it seems the perfect time to pull myself back into myself. So I sign off with a positive note. I am not ready for my life to be done, when it feels like it's only jet begun.
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